giving in

I'm beginning to realize that it is nearly impossible (for me) to attempt to keep any healthy habits during grad school. Exercising and balanced diets fall by the wayside as I attempt to finish assignments or commute 40 minutes to a job that sucks the soul from me on a daily basis. So, I've simply decided to embrace it.

Yes, I may get fast food after standing for 8 hours at work and being yelled at by rude guests all day and repeating the same things a million times over. And yes, I may not squeeze in a run because I have to finish reading for class in the time I'm actually home to do so. Maybe my apartment often looks like a bomb went off in it because I'm too busy rushing out the door at 6 in the morning and don't get back for 16 hours.

Instead of being mad or disappointed in myself because I just had to have a Diet Coke at the end of a particularly bad time, I'm simply going to embrace it all. Because at least I got up and tackled that bad day and survived. Nor am I going to get too terribly upset if the scale inches up a couple of pounds because I went to McDonald's instead of cooking something healthy because I am so sick of standing after an 8 hour day of work.

Grad school + working full time just don't equal a super healthy lifestyle for me right now. I wish that I could find a lasting groove in those habits, but currently, I find it difficult to even get 5 hours of sleep a night.

This is a challenging time in my life. I know that I will probably never have to work as hard as I am working now, so I need to be giving myself the ability to let some other things fall by the wayside. Like my effort to abandon Diet Coke or run 5 times a week.

I do believe that exercising and eating right is an important part of life and maybe I should make it a priority right now, but that stack of readings for class Thursday night and a 10 page proposal due in 6 weeks and an entire semester-long project that has yet to be started and the bills that need to be paid have to be more important than running 2 miles and eating my greens for dinner.

Right now, survival [+ paying bills and getting my masters] is key, everything else has to take a back seat.